My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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