I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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