Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
