Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
