What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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