We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
