i think my tv is drunk
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
