i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
