I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
