No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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