Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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