Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
