the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
