I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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