I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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