i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
