New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
