.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
