I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
