Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
