She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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