New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
