I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
