She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
