Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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