OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
