How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
