my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
