Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
