Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
