the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
