There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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