I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
