Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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