you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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