I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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