my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
