Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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