I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
