my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
