i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
