Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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