When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
