just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't put those talents on a resume
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
