I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
