i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
