he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
