You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Farmville is her only friend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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