I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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