Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
